Today is day eight of the ten-day Biblical Relationship series and I'm tackling Relationship with Faith. Specifically, Christian faith in God, and a struggle with that faith. 

I have this problem. The problem is that sometimes thoughts pop into my head and my reaction is, "Oh, that must be true." I know better. I lend my brain too much authority; I sometimes trust myself too much. I know I should be taking "every thought captive" (2 Corinthians 10:5) and testing those things within me, but I get lazy and stop fighting, stop bothering.

Recently, my boys were having an unusually hard time falling asleep-- they tend to do great with naps and bedtime, but they were resisting a lot. I started sitting in the room with them singing hymns and songs I've memorized. While I was singing songs to and about God, I started having nagging doubts about my faith:

"Yeah, but do you really believe this?"

"Do you really think that God is real?"

"Are you really a Christian? Maybe you don't buy it anymore."

I resisted the thoughts some, but mostly just let them slide. They scared me but I didn't do much about it.

It wasn't until Sunday morning at church that I realized how foolish I was being about my own thought life (and as a side note here: how important and merciful is the blessing of regular fellowship with other Christians!). Adam and I talked that evening about how getting lazy in an area like thought life can undermine so much. 

I must choose to fight doubts like that, to give them no ground. God always knows what I need and when I need it, and He is faithful to provide-- I've even been reading scripture and having conversations that were just what I needed this past weekend. But God doesn't have to keep proving Himself to me.

Faith is a choice. Yes, I need the Spirit to work in me and it is only by the Spirit that I can say, "Jesus is Lord!" (1 Cor. 12:3). But I must also choose to say it. I choose to believe it, to hold to that truth. When I was talking to Adam about this, he reminded me that it was a choice and of two verses that highlight that.

The first is in Joshua -- Joshua 24:15. There is a declaration of the choice to follow and serve the Lord. The second is Acts 16:31 -- "believe" is a command, not a description of a mere feeling.

I am supposed to watch what I'm thinking. Is it a battle? Yes. But I was warned it would be. I am supposed to choose where I place my loyalties; I choose faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. When I start letting my thoughts, my deceitful heart, run rampant-- when I lend those things more authority than I give the Word of God-- there is trouble. Of course part of my self wants to convince me I don't believe! My flesh doesn't like dying. But die it must. I choose.

Do you ever trust your own thoughts too much?

Also, a song for you, that was on my mind while I typed this post up:

"Live by Faith" by Chris Rice.



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This is part of a two week series on Biblical Relationships that I'm doing with a network of bloggers! Check out their daily (or almost-daily!) posts on Biblical Relationships at these links!