Charli, a good friend and chauffeur (just kidding! :-P ) of mine, tagged me on her blog and it sounded fun, so I'm going to play. Mostly.
1. You must post the rules. (Check!)
2. List eleven things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions the tagger set for you in the post, and then create eleven new questions to ask the people that you have tagged.
4. Tag eleven people and link to them on your post.
5. Let them know you've tagged them.
Aaaand I'm not going to do the second half of three, or four or five. I honestly can't think of very many people I know that well that are blogging that Charli hasn't tagged, so we'll just call it a day.
Eleven things about me....
1. When I was twelve, I wanted to be a neurosurgeon. By the time college rolled around, English definitely sounded better.
2. I'm a total nerd. I'm picky about what I play, but I love some video games-- some puzzle-games and some play-for-70-hours-before-it's-over games.
3. I started drinking coffee regularly when I was eleven.
4. Adam and I were friends for three years before we started dating, but I'd only known him for two months when family and friends started asking me when we'd get married.
5. I struggled with cutting, depression, and reading porn in high school and then gave all that up when I rededicated my life to Christ. He saved me. And I forget sometimes what a testimony I have and how many people I haven't shared it with.
6. I love watching movies with Adam, and I especially love Asian films and films about children growing up. For the first two years of our marriage, Adam and I watched something pretty much every night while we ate dinner. Now that our boys eat with us, we eat at the table, but most nights we still end up watching something.
7. I love to write but I don't do it enough. I'm also interested in curriculum development, for high schoolers and for high-functioning special-needs kids.
8. I am a fan of nearly all things Batman.
9. Adam and I still collect LEGOs. I don't do it very often right now, but I love to sit down with a new LEGO set and instructions and build. I'm super looking forward to when our boys are big enough for "big kid" LEGOs.
10. I enjoy doing the dishes. No lie.
11. My all-time favorite candies are Farley's gummi octopus (octopi?) and Cadbury orange chocolate bars. My friend Sarah and I used to buy the gummis all the time at Shop-n-Save, but they are increasingly hard to find. The Cadbury orange chocolate bars I found in Poland and they've since been discontinued. I am destined to a life of lesser candies.
Now the questions Charli wrote. :)
I was born in Morgantown, WV, in the same wing of the same hospital I delivered my boys in.
I like eating healthy in theory, but honestly, I could eat pizza or McDonald's double cheeseburgers almost any time of day or night.
3. What one farm animal would you raise, if you could?
A cow. And then I'd kill it and eat it and it would be delicious.
4. What would your "Priceless" Mastercard commercial be?
Flashlight: $15. Batteries: $7. Finding missing blankie: Priceless.
5. What would surprise me about you?
I majored in English, love books, love reading, and didn't like Jane Austen at all until last year.
6. What was your first car?
A 1984 Volvo wagon and I loved it.
7. What did you want to be when you grew up?
A neurosurgeon. Or a filmmaker. Or the owner of a caviar-harvesting fishery in Canada (I was eleven and my cousin was going to help!)
8. What blog or website do you visit the most?
Uh, facebook. Heh.
9. Have you ever left the country?
Yes, twice. :) Once for Canada, once for Poland. I came back from one with fish, the other with new siblings.
10. What is your favorite local Mom & Pop shop or restaurant?
Oh, hm. I don't know if it counts, but I love this little toy store in Morgantown called Pinocchio's. That, or the Japanese restaurant called Yama.
11. What makes you smile?
Stupid jokes, or my husband's smile, or my sons playing with each other.
1 comment
So, hi everybody! I was reading back over some older blog posts and thought I'd give some updates:
I have only tried making bread once, in my bread machine, and it was a nearly total failure. I'm going to try again soon, though.
I have gotten a lot better at trying new recipes! They don't intimidate me nearly as much and are comfortably part of our regular meal rotation now. We've found a lot of things we really enjoy eating that way! In fact, my "go-to meals" from two years ago is an almost completely different list from my go-to meals now. Working on incorporating that into my baking, too!
The boys are sixteen months old and have a sibling on the way. :)
Samuel loves flowers and plants. He points them out excitedly everywhere-- books, real life, the computer, tv shows, etc.
Théoden loves lights and light switches, and convincing us to turn them on and off for him.
They're both babbling away and starting to say some words more clearly. They love books.
I'm posting semi-regularly on my other blog, The Grainery (grainery.blogspot.com) but only to keep track of books I've read this year. I should be updating that again soon, because I'm only a few hours away from the end of an audiobook and then should be working through some other books pretty quickly after that. (A few hours from the end of a twenty-nine hour audiobook, I should note, so "a few hours" really is almost the end.)
So, not really much, just a quick update on some things. :)
Yesterday, in church, Adam and I attended the young married's group Sunday School. We've recently started a new study series and it's been taking Adam and I a bit of time to warm up to the guy's speaking style (we're watching DVDs). He's definitely winning us over (or rather, the truth in his words is), but sometimes his word choice throws me off. That's a good thing.
The word that bothered me most yesterday was in one of his key points about communication in marriage: Spouses must have the freedom to complain to one another.
Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat.
Complain? Haven't I been taught my entire life that complaining is a sin? Aside from all the times it was hammered into me by my parents, I was profoundly impacted by a single sermon at a friend's youth group in high school. The pastor preached the whole sermon against complaining and summed it up with: "Complaining is an insult to the sovereignty of God. It's you saying, 'God, I could have done this better.'"
Ouch. Yeah, that's stuck with me. (And on some level, I still think it's true.)
The basis for every sermon and instruction I've ever received against complaining has been founded in two things:
1. Look what happened to the Israelites when they grumbled and complained.
2. Philippians 2:14, "Do everything without grumbling or arguing." Usually added: Emphasis, everything.
So, when this man starts telling us we should have the freedom to complain to our spouses and that the lack of that freedom statistically results in divorce because of the breakdown in communication, my knee-jerk reaction was that this teaching was unbiblical.
Then, he quoted Philippians 2:14. I was like, wait, wait...what? I looked it up. He quoted the King James Version which says: "Do all things without murmurings or disputings."
It still seemed...off. Murmuring isn't quite the same as complaining, so this was enough discrepancy to drive me to a Strong's Concordance. What I found there blew me away. It convicted me. We'll get to that.
First, I should say that after I realized what the verse was actually saying, after all these years, it freed me up to really hear what this man was saying. He wasn't talking about a constant negative attitude and outlook. He wasn't talking about nagging. He was talking about something that I do believe is crucial in marriage/relationship communication-- I just would have phrased it differently. Healthy relationships must have a clear avenue for either person to say, "This is bothering me," "This hurt me," "This scares me," about any situation.
Two definitions of "complain" from dictionary.com include: "to express dissatisfaction, pain, uneasiness, censure,resentment, or grief; find fault:...
to tell of one's pains, ailments, etc." and the synonyms dictionary further defines complaining (vs. grumbling or growling) as "to protest against or lament a wrong."
Marriage needs that communication. Friendship needs that. I need to be able to tell Adam that I'm not feeling well, or that a situation still bothers me, or that I'm emotionally wounded. And I have-- sometimes too much!-- but I've always felt guilty about it.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be complaining," I often tag on. He usually reassures me that it's fine, but I'm haunted by Philippians 2:14 nonetheless.
No more. And yet still.
Here is why I was convicted about that verse. Look up "murmurings" in Strong's, and this is what you'll find:
γογγυσμός
The word is "goggysmos" transliterated. It appears four times-- only four-- in the entire New Testament. It means:
"(1) a murmur, murmuring, muttering
(a) a secret debate
(b) a secret displeasure not openly avowed"
Oh, man, that hit me like a Mack truck. All this time, the verse means almost the opposite of what I thought. I mean, I should have figured, since God caring more about the inward man is sorta a theme of the, well, entire Bible.
Disclaimer: I'm still not okay with negative, pessimistic attitudes and words. There's a difference between complaining to God or a spouse of a real hurt and whining about everything.
That said.
Whaaaaaaaaaat.
"A secret displeasure not openly avowed," is kind of a big deal.
How many times have I bitten my tongue and kept from whining about doing a job, or taking care of somebody, or serving someone, or dealing with an unpleasant situation, and then become bitter and angry and resentful in my heart?
Oh, that's a dangerous place. Because then my flesh is cheering me on, "Oh, look at you! What a sacrifice! You're not COMPLAINING."
You wanna know the other three places this shows up in the New Testament?
John 7:12, when the Jews are having muttered arguments about who Jesus says He is, but they don't ask him directly. It causes division. That verse lays out a pretty clear line they were falling on either side of.
Acts 6:1, when the Greeks were murmuring among themselves that their widows were being neglected whenever the Jews handled charity work, instead of confronting them in love and lodging a complaint. It created division.
And finally, 1 Peter 4:9 (KJV), which I'm including in full: "Use hospitality one to another without grudging."
A "secret displeasure not openly avowed."
Have you ever been the guest at a house where even though no one was complaining, even though everyone was being polite and saying the right things, you could just tell you weren't wanted? What about the other person in the room in your own home? And you can just feel how much your spouse or child doesn't want you there in that moment?
Oh, man. I told Adam last night, "Sometimes we think hospitality is just for strangers, but it's not. That's part of it. But I have to be hospitable to close family-- the people I live with. I'm serving them, too."
And how often have, instead of feeling awkward, I've been the one making dinner or doing laundry or cleaning up dog pee or straightening up a room at church, and keeping my mouth shut but just murmuring inside of me? I take what should be the joy of service in the example of Christ, and turn it into my own little pity-party. I grow bitter towards others, angry that my rights, my time, my dignity, my needs are being trampled on.
I'm ashamed to admit how often I've treasured and coddled and nursed and loved those "secret displeasure[s] not openly avowed."
And do you know what it does? Rather than me preserving the peace by keeping my mouth shut, my attitude and behavior and SILENT TREATMENT of something is creating division. The other thing the Sunday school teacher said about words is that, "Good words create a paradise, no words create a wasteland, a desert, and bad words create something worse."
I have created that wasteland in my home, in my relationships, in my witnessing opportunities, far too many times.
This is not license to complain (read: whine) every time I'm uncomfortable.
This is a reminder not to indulge. If I'm having a hard time serving with a joyful heart, my heart needs some readjustment, and that requires taking that very-same "deceitful, treacherous" heart to the Throne of God. I need the grace of God to serve in truthful love.
It might mean a little bit of complaining needs to happen. A little bit of being honest instead of proud. "God, I'm tired," or "I don't feel well," or "I still haven't forgiven him for hurting my feelings," and "I need your help to love the way You love."
I need grace to serve. I need grace to change, to grow.
And it's time to stop murmuring. That's not me "processing" something or "working through" something-- there's a time and a place for those things, but too long have I indulged my murmuring heart and called it something else to make me feel better.
It ends.
I had a thought this morning while I was feeding the little boys their breakfast. I've been seeing a lot of friends from church post pictures of their kid's first day at school and every time I hear about a five or six year old shipped off to spend the entire day away from home, it makes me a little sad. Sure, lots of people "survive" the public school system and are just fine, but I've personally seen what a benefit homeschooling can be.
So, I was thinking, "Do they even know why they send their kids to school like this? Do they even realize what the school system in America is rooted in? Do they know what John Dewey even said about this school system he helped create?"
And then I was struck by a thought; nay, a conviction.
I find myself more willing to engage in conversations about homeschooling with Christians than I ever find myself in conversations with the unsaved about Christ.
It was so startling and such an obvious wrong that it shook me a bit. I'm still praying. I need to change my attitude about this and the way I approach all of my conversations. I don't want to stop talking about homeschooling, but I think it's become way out of balance for me.
Homeschooling is great, but homeschooling didn't save me.
Homeschooling didn't pull me out of the pit of death.
Homeschooling isn't the Rock on which I stand.
Homeschooling doesn't give me a joy that strengthens my limbs.
Homeschooling doesn't mend my wounded heart.
Homeschooling doesn't rescue and redeem and reconcile those around me.
Homeschooling a good way to live, but homeschooling is not the Way, the Truth, and the Life.
What about you? What do you find yourself talking about more, and more easily?
It isn't always fun to share. It's not. Do I sometimes feel good after? Yes. It's it always fun? Nope.
So, I was watching a kid's show with the little boys today. They don't watch much TV and only watched about ten minutes today, but when I need to distract them enough that I can eat lunch, I'm okay with them being entertained. Today's episode was about sharing, and I thought, "Great! Even if they don't understand it, sharing is a part of their lives right now. They have to share almost everything."
In the show, a character expresses reluctance to share and is encouraged by talking trees that "sharing is FUN!" They even sang a song about it and everything was happy.
Except it's not true.
The problem with moral relativism and the separation of church and life (you know, when church stays in church and everything outside of church is free from church) is that it compels people to attempt to create catchy or encouraging phrases to espouse the values we all feel deep down we should have, apart from any real basis for those values.
If not for Christ, then for what?
So, we end up with children's show after children's show (and even some adult shows, when they feel like they can get a message in there) that happily bombards kids with those moral foundations we instinctively know we must have to exist as a society: Sharing is FUN, isn't being nice NICE, don't be afraid there's nothing to be afraid of because MONSTERS are silly and probably afraid of you!, stealing is WRONG because you feel bad, lying is wrong because it HURTS you.
I realize I'm starting to sound a bit like my grandfather and I'm okay with that. Because you know what?
Sharing isn't always fun.
Being genuinely nice sometimes hurts like nothing else.
Monsters are freaking scary.
When we are apart from Christ, we do have something frightening to fear.
Stealing is wrong because our Judge decided it was.
Lying is wrong because it hurts others.
And all of these things can be summed up pretty simply by a passage in Matthew 22:37-40:
Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.”
The ultimate problem with teaching these values (which are important values) apart from any basis of Scripture or faith is that eventually it becomes extremely evident to a child that there is no basis for these rules as they've been given.
If one's only moral obligation to share is to share because it's fun, then what happens when it isn't fun?
Truth is, we should share because we recognize that what we've been given isn't ours anyway. We should share because God wants us to bless others, and to tell you another truth, I'm a little bit afraid of God. He's pretty mighty and I'm pretty small.
We should share because I recognize that He is mighty and I am small and He has chosen to be gentle and loving to me anyway. I am compelled to do the right thing out of a desire to please Him, not out of a desire to make myself feel good about doing the right thing.
That's a lot to cram into a kid's television show. That's why we're called to be the primary educators of our children. It isn't the media's job to get the message right. It's our job.
Because those slogans will not be true. Those slogans will prove false time and time again. If it is all a child has for a moral foundation, expect that foundation to crumble at the first challenge. When sharing isn't fun, they will decide not to share. When lying hurts them a little less than it saves them from real discipline, they will lie. When something scares them in the dead of night, "silly monsters" will not comfort or save them.
But we don't even have to lecture our children on sharing or not lying or being kind. We can sing scripture to catchy tunes, instead of fluffy little slogans. We encourage a child to share with, "This is the right thing to do," instead of, "Won't it be fun?" Sometimes, we say simply, "Share," and don't give them a whole lot of say in the matter. (Like for me, right now, when my little boys lack the understanding or self-control to even decide if they want to do the right thing or not.)
And as they grow, that greatest commandment will, in every situation of their lives, prove true over and over again. Those words they have stored in their hearts will never fail them. They may challenge them, try to rebel against them, question them, struggle with them, but they will always, always, always be true.
When they share because it's the right thing, to please Christ and not self, it will be true.
When they decide not to cheat on a test because they fear God and not because a few people might be mad, it will be true.
When they decide not to cheat on a spouse because they know, despite any emotional or physical neglect, that God will honor their self-denial, it will be true.
This is a challenge to me, even as little TV as my kids watch. What am I filling our interaction time with? What am I saying, how am I acting? How am I building a foundation for them, a foundation on the Cornerstone that is Christ?
How are you building? What do you do?
Yesterday, I posted about working through the 31 Days to Clean book, but other than the cleaning assignment, I hadn't really read the day's entry. Adam had left that morning to help a friend move and the little boys and I were on our own.
I had plans to have a friend over for coffee and then, if Adam was gone for the whole afternoon, I was going to walk to the library and to a little toy store called Duck Soup. I planned on getting each of the boys a small, new toy. They've outgrown most of the ones filling their toy bin and I wanted to get them a treat. We rarely ever go out and buy new toys for them because we've already been so blessed by friends and family, and I don't believe in them having a ton of toys anyway.
And then I read the entry for the day in 31 Days and, hurrah! My Mary Challenge for the day was to have a friend over for coffee! God set that up so well (before we even know what to ask, huh?).
Then I found out Duck Soup had closed. I figured I'd just take the boys to Wal-Mart or somewhere else later. I was a little disappointed, but didn't feel like the day was ruined or anything.
After lunch, my friend came over with her kids and returned some books she'd borrowed and then pulled out two Yo Gabba Gabba! plush toys. "My littlest one doesn't play with these anymore," she said, "Would you like them?"
Guys, Yo Gabba Gabba! is this household's favorite kids show. It's the only one the boys watch.
And my friend was handing me our two favorite characters.
The little boys were very, very excited. I might have been a tad more excited, but that's okay.
God gave my kids some new toys, through the generosity of a friend.
It gets even better! Adam and I have a lot of big-kid toys like LEGOs, Duplos, and Matchbox cars in the back of a closet for when our kids get older. I pull them out whenever we have other kids over so they don't get bored while grown-ups talk. I pulled out Duplos for my friend's three-year-old and my little boys loved them. I'd thought that the Duplos were still way over their heads, but they proved me wrong. They're nowhere close to building with them, but their new favorite thing is to rummage in the bins and pull out pieces.
Another new toy and we already owned it!
God is so good.
Théoden fell asleep last night holding Brobee, and Plex is nearby in this picture. They were into the Duplos again this morning:
Also, I submitted a story last night for the second Machine of Death anthology. You can read more about it at machineofdeath.net, but it's basically a writing contest with a shared thesis for every story. The selections will be announced in October and will be published. The thesis is based on a Dinosaur Comic strip, and the first anthology was kind of amazing. I feel like my story needed more work but I sent it in anyway. I thought the deadline was Sunday at midnight and fortunately checked last night while I was working on my story--- the deadline was this morning at around 3am EST.
Anyway, it's called E. coli. One of the contest rules is that the title has to be somebody's test result. I've found a few things I wish I could change, but oh, well. It's submitted. And I'll just keep writing new stuff! If you'd like to read it, email me or let me know on Facebook and I'll send it to you-- I don't want to just post it online right now, though.
Also, 31 Days is kicking my butt a bit. I'm keeping up with the cleaning okay, but it's really challenging my heart. Aren't you glad that God never leaves us alone, though? He never lets us go, and even when that's uncomfortable, I'm so grateful.
The entry today was about priorities. And I had just skimmed a few verses in Psalms and was counting that as my Bible study when I read 31 Days and it was all like, "Do what you say are your priorities and what you treat as priorities really line up? Are you spending time meditating on the Word of God?" and it was exactly the kind of reprimand I needed.
Right now, if I'm honest, I sort of shuffle myself, my little boys, and Adam around in the first priority slot, and then housework and God take turns being in fourth and fifth. Yeah, that's not good. It makes for one cranky, easily irritated Mama and Wife. I'm working on that, but more importantly, the Holy Spirit is working on that in me, and as long as I'm heeding that call, He's not going to stop or let go.
And finally, I have noticed a movement in a lot of the people I know toward the art of hospitality. Sometimes, I forget that this is actually part of the Christian calling. Entertaining people is one thing; intentional hospitality that loves on people and fills a need for them is another. I want to make that more and more a part of my life (within reason; I don't want to get out of balance). So, let me ask you, when you go into another person's home, what makes you feel comfortable and loved? What makes you feel like you belong?
I'm working through a new cleaning book that I'm really enjoying. It's part devotional/part cleaning guide. It's called "31 Days to Clean: Having a Martha House the Mary Way" and you can find it here. It's only available as an eBook, as far as I know, so you can look at it on your computer or you can order the Kindle version and look on a Kindle or on your iPod touch/iPhone/iPad.
I'm on day four and enjoying it so far. It's challenged me to address the attitude of my heart when it comes to cleaning, and one of the "Mary Challenges" was to ask my family what aspects of housecleaning/homemaking made them feel most loved. The little boys, predictably, answered "da da da da?" which means anything from Adam to food to "HI THERE!!!!!"
Adam's answers gave me some insight into what's important to him in the course of a week and helped me shift my focus from what I thought I should have as a priority to what actually blessed him if I made it a priority.
Today, the task is to clean my stove and microwave (I'll be cleaning my toaster oven since we are sans microwave). I'll go do that in a moment...
On another front, Adam and I are very much enjoying our brand-spankin' new Spotify account. The service launched in the U.S. yesterday and is a bit like Netflix for music. You can listen to anything they have on the service (and it's a LOT!) streaming, for free. It's ad-supported. Or, you can pay $5 a month and go ad-free. Or you can pay $10 a month and go ad-free, stream to an iPod, have wireless iPod syncing, and off-line listening. We went with that last option and are cancelling our $12/month eMusic account. eMusic has consistently grown from an amazing site to something really disappointing. They actually removed the option to re-download previously purchased tracks and albums, as other services are moving toward that option, and that just baffles me. But anyway, Spotify! We can listen to almost anything, even new albums, in their entirety, and don't have to pay per album. It's pretty awesome. I'm listening to Anberlin's Blueprints for the Black Market right now, which is an album I loved in high school.
Finally, to wrap up this post, I wanted to share pictures of my most recent project. I'm not really a very crafts-oriented person. I love the idea of crafts and DIY projects, but I'm not very good at following through on them. I don't sew, knit, crochet, woodwork, scrapbook, etc.., and I hardly even paint. That said, I occasionally get in the mood to do something like this and this week I had the chance!
I recently received an antique mirror from my mom; it had belonged to her mother and then ended up in my sister's cabin (a playhouse cabin she's since outgrown). It was nearing the point where it would be beyond salvaging. Even now, the wood is a teeny bit warped on one side. But the trim was falling off, the paint was all chipped, and so on. I had some white paint (I was trying to avoid spending any extra money for supplies) and a brush, so I tackled it the other night. I forgot to take a real "before" picture, but here's mid-way and finished (sorry about the picture quality):
Here's the mirror finished and on the wall. I wanted it to still look like an antique, so I didn't do a second coat of white paint. I wanted some of the older stuff to come through, especially in cracks and crevices.
Oh, and I know I already said "finally," but I'd nearly forgotten that I wanted to show off my other recent project. I put together my recipe binder! I had an envelope stuffed full of loose-leaf recipes and they needed a real home. Despite what I said about not being very crafty, I could put binders together or play around in Photoshop all day.
That's all. :) See my boys with their raspberry popsicles? Aren't they the sweetest?
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